Week 5 Communication and conflict

     During this week I had a disagreement with my mother about my cousin that was adopted, and recently deciding to look for his biological parents. He wanted to find them due to medical issues he was experiencing as well as his grandchildren. A few months back he located both the mother and father and scheduled a meeting with them. They met and he brought along his adopted parents to share in the experience. Since that day he has continued to communicate with them and even traveled to met other family members. Overall, he has been receptive to the process and enjoying getting to know them.
      While talking with my mother this week she mentioned that my Aunt was upset that my him (my cousin/her son) was still communicating with his biological parents and building a relationship with them. I expressed to my mother that I thought my Aunt was being selfish in her thoughts that she should be happy and excited for him. When I said that it struck a chord with my mother because she did not think he should be still communicating with them after he learned their family medical history. At that point is when the conversation got intense. She and my Aunt thought he should have outlined that he wanted to work toward building a relationship. We disagreed on how both he and my Aunt should have handled themselves in the situation.
     One of the strategies I used was applying the three R’s (respectful, reciprocal and responsive) in this situation/conversation. I also strived to be supportive of their understanding and perspective of the situation. I found it hard to keep emotions from running high in this conversation due to my experience of growing up without knowing my father and his family. At the end of the conversation we were able to agree to disagree about how we viewed and felt about the situation.